I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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