im drinking this country out of the recession.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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