Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
