i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
