what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
