I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
