my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
