I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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