I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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