i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
