sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
