'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
