Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
