You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
