Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
