sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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