idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
