Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
