At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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