If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
