I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
