So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
