He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
