if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
