we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
