Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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