I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
