Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
