Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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