gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
