I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
