I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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