You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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