Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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