They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
