i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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