captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
