If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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