my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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