At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Semen is not good for contacts.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
