Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
