is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
