YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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