so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
