I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
