People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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