also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
