suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
