idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
