There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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